2007 | December | Internet. Serious Business.

Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed-Part 3 (The Bank)

Posted December 13, 2007

If You are just seeing this series of posts for the first time, please go to the Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed Introduction post to get the back story and the Set Up. If not, well enjoy the next installment of this epic story. The Previous Post is here if you forgot anything :).

This installment will begin with Buht Fokker contacting the Royal Bank of Scotland. Apparently this is the place he needs to go to get the correct papers filed so our lovely Goodness can get the hell out of the dump she lives in and fulfill her dreams of living in America and loading up on great things such as Wilmington NC real estate. She has already professed her love to Mr. Fokker after hardly even speaking to him, and never meeting him before. Now for the entrance of another great character in the story…

From Buht Fokker to the Royal Bank of Scotland, apparently.

To whichever peeps it may concern,

My name is Buht Fokker, the Chairman/CEO of DVDA Inc. I was recently contacted by a foxy young lady named Goodness Madu. This woman is in dire straits, and urgently needs my help. I was asked to contact you cats, as I need to set up an account so that she may transfer money and such. I’m not good with the details. Please holla back as soon as you can, so that this woman may get what’s coming to her. She deserves every single bit.

Keepin’ it real,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Santos note: She mentioned the bank in her first email to me, so I decided to email them, since she’s been compliant with my demands, so far.

My Note: As mentioned in the Intro post I am keeping every one of the scammers font as Black Bold so as we introduce another character here they will be this color.

From the Royal Bank of Scotland to Buht Fokker

Royal Bank Of Scotland Plc
Registered in Scotland No .90312
Registered office 36st.andrew Square.
Edirbugh EH2 2YB
Regulated and authorised by the
Financial Services Authority
Tel +447017029256
FAX: +4487-0974-5897

RE: MONEY TRANSFER REQUIREMNTS
For Your Kind Attention,
Sir,
I have been directed by the director of Foreign Operation/Wire
Transfer to write you in respect to your mail which we have received.
Actually,we have earlier been told about you by the young lady Miss Goodness Mbaye (for the claim of her late father’s deposit with our bank.
Late Dr.Joseph Patric Mbaye is our customer with sum substantial amount of money he deposit with us.

Hence you have been really appointed as a trustee to represent the next of Kin.
However before our bank will transact any business concerning the transfer of the fund to your bank,we will like you to send the followings immediately to our bank:
1.A power of attorney permiting you to claim and transfer the funds to your bank account on her behalf.
Note:This Power of attorney must be endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer.
2.The death certificate of late Dr.Joseph Patric Mbaye (Her deceased father)confirming his death.
3.A copy of statement of account issued to Dr.Joseph Patric Mbaye by our bank.
4.An Affidavit of support from the Senegalese high court with her signature in it.
Note:The above are compulsory,and are needed to protect our interest,yours and the next of kin after the transfer has been made.
These shall also ensure that a smooth,quick and successful transferof the fund is made.
We promise to give our customers the best of our services.Should you have any question(s),please contact our Foreign Operational
Director-Mr.Brown Macheal on
on e-mail (ifor_rbs@mail2world.com)
Mr Fred Godwin.
(For Accounts Dept)
(rbs_transfer@mail.md)

Santos note: This was the fakest shit you could possibly imagine. The email, presumably for some semblance of authenticity, contained the text above, and then at the top this retarded blue banner, with a picture of some guy sitting at a laptop, with someone leaning over him. At the bottom, was another laptop, with the words “Royal Bank of Scotland plc” beneath it. Fucking terrible. Also worth noting, is that they refer to her as Goodness Mbaye, yet her email address has her name as Goodness Madu.

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

I contacted that bank for you, but they requested several things which I don’t have. Also, they gave you a different name, for some reason. Are you sure these guys are reliable? My father always told me, “never trust gypsies, Jews, or the Scottish.” Shortly afterwards he was eaten by a shark in a freak diving accident. Suspiciously, his diving instructor was a Jewish Scotsman, who was a former gypsy.

Anyway, the information they require is:
1.A power of attorney permiting you to claim and transfer the funds to your bank account on her behalf.
Note:This Power of attorney must be endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer.
2.The death certificate of late Dr.Joseph Patric Mbaye (Her deceased father)confirming his death.
3.A copy of statement of account issued to Dr.Joseph Patric Mbaye by our bank.
4.An Affidavit of support from the Senegalese high court with her signature in it.

By the way, I was re-reading your email, and I was saddened to learn about this American fellow who wanted to eat your money. The thought of it makes my balls quiver in anger. In America we have a saying, “those who eat money, shit bloody diarrea.” If you like, I can hunt this guy down, and kick his ass. I know of some…gentlemen, who can take care of this. Olson Steven, you said his name was? I think I’ve heard of him. Though his penchant for feasting on money is quite strange…It can’t be a healthy habit. I’ve attached a picture of myself with a friend of mine who is an expert in taking people out. His name is Mr. Tebag Miballz. Please reply swiftly, as he is a busy man, and could be called away on a hit at any moment.
Crap, I gotta go, my pain in the ass girlfriend is bitching at me. Stupid ho’…I only brought her along ’cause if I didn’t she’d start banging the pool boy, Juan. God damn Mexicans. Unfortunately, she caught me enjoying your photos, but luckily I was able to shut her up with a backhand. Did I mention I’m from Alabama originally?

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours bombastically,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

santos note: here is the picture I sent. Seriously, how stupid do you have to be to fall for this crap?

gangsta

From Goodness to Buht Fokker

Darling,
Thank’s for your ability to help me transfer my money to your position pending my arrival to meet with you,it shows you are a dependable and trust worthy person.

Listen,before i gave you the information it is the will of God that me and you know each other,i have not told any body about this money the only people that knows about it is you and me no one again knows about it (since my parent’s are dead).
So,i will also advise you to please keep it to yourself because i am afraid of loosing the money to people who will disappoint me when the money gets to there care that was why it took me time to tell you about it and i promise you this from my heart (I AM NOT GOING TO DISAPPOINT YOU) and i equally expect the same from you. Now,regarding the requests the bank needs from us i have with me here the last statement of account(which i Will give to the lawyer when he agrees to help us) and the death certificate,(which i will also give him,so he can send them to you with the power of attorney)I thought it’s the only thing the bank will need from us but since they need the power of attorney,i have informed the Revrend about it and he gave me the contact of the lawyer below,he is a registered lawyer in the United Nations Camp and also a registered member in (Senegalese Bar Association) who will help in preparing the documents for us.
Please i will like you to contact him through email and phone today,when your contacting him, tell him that you are my Foreign partner and you want him to prepare a power of attorney in your name to enable the transfer of my (Late) father’s ACCOUNT in ROYAL BANKING GROUP PLC to the account in Your country.
His contact informations are as follows,
Barr. Ben Omega
Email address (barrister_ben@fastermail.com)
Office telephone number 00221-763-895-100

So, i will like you to contact him for the preparing of the power of attorney Please try and contact me when you are in contact with him and let me know if he agree to help us.
Please i will like you to first of all get the money transfered and from it you can send some money for me to prepare my documents for travelling to meet with you in your country for the rest of my life, thank you once again, and God bless you,
With Love from my deepest heart
Miss Goodness

Santos note: Guess she wasn’t interested in Tebag’s help. Oh well.
Anyway, now begins my trials and tribulations with this magnificent bastard, Ben Omega. God damn, that name made me tremble.

From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega

S’up,

Mr. Ben Omega. First let me congratulate you on having such an impressive name! God damn, that’s some imposing shit right there. Now, on to the subject at hand. My good friend, and beeeyotch, Miss Goodness something or other..her name seems to change all the time…Anyway, Miss Goodness asked me to contact you, as she is attempting to transfer some funds out of the country. It’s a terribly tragic tale, and features some guy who eats money. I know, pretty wacky, right? As I was saying, she needs us to get some documents together, to arrange power of attorney and such. She said you were the man for the job, and that you don’t take lip from anyone.

I’m afraid I’ll have to contact you by email for the moment, as I’m currently away from the office, and it’s not possible for me to call overseas from my current location. That, and my stupid-ass girlfriend will probably kill herself or something if she found out. I only keep her around ’cause she’s willing to do some freaky shit. I mean totally “forget your inhibitions, and make monkey jungle sex” type stuff. She can do things with an RC monster truck, like you wouldn’t believe. I think you know what I mean. I’m betting a smooth pimp playa like yourself can relate, am I right? I mean with a name like Ben Omega…Hot damn. Anyway, holla back with the details, and then I can get that woman out of that toilet of a country.

Sincerely,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

P.S I admire how you don’t care what anyone thinks, and actually put barrister in your email address. I can tell I’m gonna like you.

My Note: Looks like Buht Fokker is really laying it on and these idiots still keep playing along with it. There is quite a bit of hilarity left in all this and it will probably take another 5 posts I think so if you are just getting into it you may want to subscribe to the Internet. Serious Business. RSS Feed so that you know when I have another section of it up so that you don’t have to keep checking back everyday.

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Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed-Part 2

Posted December 7, 2007

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Picture Time!

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

Whoa there lady! Let’s not go nuts here, we barely know each other, and you want to spend your life with me? I’m a playa baby, that’s not how I roll. However, I would like to assist you. Before I do, I’d like to know a little more about you. You see I’m a businessman first and foremost, and so I can’t just enter into any deals that quickly. I hope you understand my position. In America we call that position a “shocker.”
Are you a good Christian woman? I pray that you are not someone to use the Lord’s name to get what you want. But I can see from your emails that you are a good honest person, who would never cheat hard a working guy. After all, such things are incredibly scummy, wouldn’t you say?

Please continue to email me at this address, as I am out of the office at the moment. I’m at an adult entertainment industry expo, and giving talks about the virtues of fleshlights over, say, inflatable dolls.

As a show of good faith, I have attached a picture of myself. I hope you will do the same.

Praying for your safety,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA inc.

Attached Photo:

Santos note: Yup, that is indeed Rob Schneider. Star of such critically acclaimed movies as “The Animal,” and “”Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpey Derpey Dumb.”

From Goodness to Buht Fokker

Darling i think i have tell you about me in this email i write to you be for and my picture so please go ahead and contact the bank

My Dear……………..!
My name is Miss Goodness Patric am from Ivory Coast in West Africa.Presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Darka Senegales a result of the civil war going on in my country.I am 23 years old girl 5′8″ tall. My father Dr Col patric Mbaye was the personal advicer to the former head of state(Late Dr Robert Guei)before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed him alondside with my mother.it is only me that is alive now and i managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am living now.my condition here is terrible Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come outhere soon.

i don’t have any relatives now whom i can go to all our relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person i have now is Rev Emmanuel George. who is the pastor of the (Christ the king Churches) here in the camp,he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i’m leaving in the women’s hostel(in the camp) because here they have two hostels one for the men the other for women.The Pastors Tel number you will use to call me (00221-772-418-186)if you call and tell him that you want to speak with me he will send for me.I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the traggic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place. Please listen to this,i have my late father’s statement of account and death certificate (as next of kid)here with me which i will send to you latter,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank in united kingdom which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $3.5m(three Million five Hundred Thousand Dollars)

So what i need from you is, for you to see that the money is transfered to a good account and also to make arrengment on how i will come over and stay with you and continue my life and education.my choosing you is a question i knew you must ask and i think it is a good question.i have two reasons for choosing you, i choosed you because it is the will of God.and i believe knowing you will bring hope back again to my life.my choosing you does not mean i do not have anybody from africa.i have two uncles,that is my late fathers junior brothers whom i think are suppose to be taking care of me but they do not care,all they did was to sell my late fathers houses and company to one mr olson steven from united states and enjoy the money with their wives.i wanted to tell olson about it but should my uncles know of the money,they can kill me ,so as to eat the money,it was as if my father saw their dead because he told the implication of having a big money in africa and that was the reason while he made the deposit in scothland.

i picked up three address from site and i prayed over it with my Rev,father.he broth the pieces of papper and wrote the three email address in it and fold it,he ask me to pick one and i picked your email address,then i decided to write you and i also believe that it is the will of God.However you can call me with the reverend office phone line, my favorite language is English ,i speak English very fluently because i attended an American and English speaking private school all in my country for almost all my school,please I will like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes and what you are doing presently i will send you my picture in my nest mail.I have a lot to tell you,i will be thinking about you so much,as i will be waiting to hear from you soonest,
Have a wonderful day
Miss Goodness

Santos note: She then sent me a blank email, with the following three pictures attached.

Santos note: Is it me, or are those three different people?

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

Thank you for sending the pictures, I enjoyed them. I enjoyed them several times, actually. It was also good to get all that information about you. I’ve gotta say, I’m so sorry to hear all about your troubles. But you won’t believe the crap that happened today at the expo.
There’s a zoo opposite the hall where the events take place, and apparently some crazy bat-shit insane person went nuts with a high powered rifle. He shot several zoo keepers, and in the confusion, some animals escaped. Well I don’t have to tell you about crazy animals- you live in Africa after all. You’ve always got lions and shit roaming around town. So some crazy-ass chimp broke into the conference room where I was giving a talk about KY, and started flinging his crap, and jumping all over the place. We were all worried we’d get ebola or something. Luckily I have a degree in keepin’ it real, and I was able to subdue him, by yelling jumanji at him. It worked and he became quite friendly. I’ve enclosed a pic of me and him, just before we gave him back to the zoo-keepers.

Oh so sorry, I’ve been rambling. I’ll get in touch with the bank right away, don’t worry. We will have you out of that poop-hole of a country before you can say, “rub me in baby oil and jam a finger up my butt-hole.” That fast.

You will be a free woman, I guarantee it.

Sincerely,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

P.S It’s amazing how different you look in each picture! You’re quite talented with make-up!

Pic santos sent:

monkey

Santos note: How could anyone take this shit seriously? Well, Goodness, it would seem, has no problem doing so.

MY Notes: Again this is several posts so check the navigation at the end to get either to the previous post, or the next one (They will appear as more posts are added), or just go to the Introduction Post and follow along the links. Be a day or two before I get another post up because I am helping my brother with a bit of a military relocation hassle :P.

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Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed Introduction

Posted December 7, 2007

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UPDATE: For Easy Navigation:

Introduction-You are Here
Post #2: Time for Pics!
Post #3: The Bank
Post #4: Ben Omega
Post #5: Lunch Box
Post #6: The Bull
Post #7: Return of Awesome-O
Post #8: End of the Line

Everyone knows all about this scam. It is the one where you get an e-mail from some foreign country that says they need to get millions of dollars released to them, but cannot do it unless they get someone else to open an account for them in another country. In return for doing this the person who opens the account for them is supposedly going to get a big cut on the millions that they are saying they are entitled to.

Of course this is a scam. Some distraught girl claiming she is an heir to the Rancilio Silvia estate, or the daughter of a royal family who is now in a prison camp will contact thousands of people looking for any of them to fall for the scam. They basically make their money by trying to get you to pay a lawyer for “papers” that allow this individual to transfer the funds.

Since this is a well known scam many people have tried to scam the scammers, but until I saw a recent topic on the Paranormal/Conspiracy Forum at GameFaqs.com telling a tale of messing with these scammers there hasn’t been a really great one. Fortunately for us the great user santos el helper of GameFaqs.com has put together an epic piece of comedy for us all to enjoy.

This is a pretty long story so I will have to make it into Quite a few different posts, but I will link them together so that they are easy to navigate. Though it is long, it is one of the funniest things I have seen on the forums in some time so you will not regret the read, nor waiting for updtaes. Since GameFaqs.com purges messages on the board, and locks topics after 500 posts, I asked if I could preserve the commentary of the topic and santos el helper graciously allowed me to post it here. I have not edited out the scammer’s e-mail addresses for obvious reasons. Enjoy!

Part one of ???-The Set Up:

Blue indicates santos el helper’s emails. His name for the correspondence is “Buht Fokker”.

Bold black are the scammer. “Goodness” is the name of the person who is looking for help. All Scammer mails will be bold black, however as there are a few from another scammer claiming to be an attorney.

santo’s comments are in red.

Santos note: My first ever scambaiting! Taking a cue from a Monkey Pox member at Ebola Monkey Man, I used the Usenet group, news.admin.net-abuse.sightings, and emailed this bastard. Unfortunately, I didn’t save their stupid story, but I got “her” to re-tell it later on.

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

Oh my God! I heard about your plight from a colleague of mine (a Mr. Rimjob). My name is Buht Fokker, the Chairman/CEO of DVDA Inc. located in the heart of Denver , Colorado. I’m sure you’ve heard of my company, as we are the largest distributors of fleshlights in the US. We are in the process of trying penetrate the world market with our products, as we feel there is a large gap…in the market. You sound like a person who understands all too well the virtues of penetration. Especially double penetration. You see, we’re testing how profitable our product would be in various territories.
I’m sorry, once I get talking about fleshlights, it’s almost impossible for me to stop.
I feel for you, and I would like to one day feel you, too. I will do everything in my power to ensure that you get to the US safely, and that the transfer of your money is a speedy, and pain-free process.

Please do email me back, as I would very much like to discuss this matter further.

Kind regards,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

From Goodness to Buht Fokker

Darling,
I thank you once again i will also like to see you face to face,i like you very much and i want you to know that before i contact you is the will of God that me and you to know each other and you are the type of man i am looking forward to spend the rest of my life with.I am not going to give your love to anyother man you will satisfy me,so needless of looking for another man.Please i have not told anyone except you about the existence of this money and i will like you to please keep it secret to other people because since it is (MONEY) all eyes will be on it and am using the church computer to write you,Remember i trust you honey that is why i am giving you all this informations.

I have informed the bank about my plans to claim this money and the only thing they told me is to look for a foreign partner who will stand on my behalf due to my refugee status and the laws of this country.You will have 20% of the total money helping me and the remaining money will be managed by you in any business of your choice.
In this regards i will like you to contact the bank immediately with this information,tell them that you are my foreign partner and that you want to know the possibilities of assisting me transfer my 3.5million dollars deposited by my late father of which i am the next of kin to your account in your country.

The contact informations of the bank is as follows,
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND INTERNATIONAL PLC.
EMAIL : ifor_rbs@mail2world.com or rbs_transfer@mail.md
Transfer officer: MR Fred Godwin.
Tel +447017029256 FAX: +4487-0974-5897
Contact them now on how to transfer the 3.5 millon dollars (three Million five Hundred Thousand Dollars) deposited by my late of which i am the next of kin.I have maped out 20% for your assistance and 5% for any expenses that might come up in this transfer.My dear i am glad that God has brought you to see me out from this situation and i promise to be kind and will equally need you in every area of my life plus investing this money since i am still too young to manage it.As i told you before,this camp is just like a prison and my prayers is to move out from here as soon as possible.Please make sure that you contact the bank so that after the transfer you can send some money from the money for me to prepare my travelling documents to meet with you in your country. for a better life, have a good day
Awaiting to hear from you soonest!.
Yours forever in love
Miss Goodness.

Darling you can copy this and send to the bank immediately with this email (ifor_rbs@mail2world.com) Or (rbs_transfer@mail.md)

My Note: This next e-mail is from a friend of Goodness.

Sir
I am the foreign partner of Miss Goodness Mbaye who is in the refugee camp Senagal.I will like to know the procedure for transfering the money deposited by her late father which she is the next of kin to the account to my bank account in my country.this is the (Deposit Account Number A/C BLAB745008901546/QB/91/A) the name on the account holder is Dr. Joseph Patric Mbaye,
Your reply is urgently needed.
Yours faithfully…………..

Santos note: Holy shit! This bitch works fast! I have to admit, I snorted quite loudly at that proclamation of love.

This is going to be a ton of posts actually so it is going to go on for a couple weeks. You may want to subscribe to the Internet. Serious Business. RSS Feed so that you know when I have another section of it up so that you don’t have to keep checking back everyday, or just bookmark this post. Like I said, it is pretty long, and I won’t get it all up in one day, but it is completely worth the read. santos el helper is deserving of all teh internets you can hand out.

NAVIGATION:

Introduction-You are Here
Post #2: Time For Pics!
Post #3: The Bank
Post #4: Ben Omega
Post #5: Lunch Box
Post #6: The Bull
Post #7: Return of Awesome-O
Post #8: End of the Line

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Trunk Monkey Part 5: Pediatric Edition

Posted December 4, 2007

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Not sure what to think of this one. Don’t remember ever seeing it. It is kind of creepy more than it is funny I guess. While watching the video check out this site for bathroom vanities for a friend of mine. And if you Detroit Tigers fan, like I am take a look at the greatest trade in MLB history that happened today and tell me that we aren’t going to win the World series :).