Internet. Serious Business.

If this post doesn’t offend you…well you have serious problems.

The Falcon Punch is now a legendary internet phenomenon. A Falcon punch is best known to be used to end the untimely pregnancy of a loved one in a humane manner, especially if the loved one happens to be under the age of sixteen who strut around in their thigh high boots trying to GET IT ON with other bratty teens (send hate mail to Hillary Clinton). Simply put, a slang term used to describe a back alley abortion, which is what scared teens who have become pregnant consider when trying to hide it from their parents.

The best way to deliver a quick, effective Falcon Punch is by cocking your fist back, throwing your chest out, and screaming “FALCOOOOON!” at the top of your lungs. The scream should slowly increase in pitch and volume and gather power as it continues, until you’ve gathered enough win in your hand to crush the undesired fetus. Then, unleash the gathered fury in your fist and use it to abort your girlfriend’s illegitimate child, whilst using a new scream that simply states the action you are doing at that very moment: “PUUUUNCH!

There is a correct pronunciation of the term Falcon Punch, and it is not just “FALCON PUNCH!!!”. The term is pronounced correctly only when said in this way:

Falc-own PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNCH!

Here is an example of a Falcon Punch in action:

As the title suggests, there are quite a few people on the internet that like to disgrace women, and I have found some images in a few threads recently that do just that. Living by basic stereotypes of man’s perceived dominance over women and their place being in the kitchen these images take it to the extreme.

These two are simply awful. The first is way over the top as well as the second one, but the second one does utilize the Parody Motivator Generator if you were wondering where everyone gets those images.

Then of course a Chuck Norris one where he lets his woman know that the man is supposed to be driving at all times:

This one is sort of a remake on some Safety Ads that were posted on Youtube from Canada a while back:

Here is the original video where that image came from:

Here is a video of a prank on this guy’s girl that was a bit over the top:

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