I have sent the sum of $1,630 through western union as you requested.
However, I have an idea. Since that dumb bitch, Goodness has refused to do as I ask, I think we should take the money she is trying to send, and split it between us. That stupid refugee would just waste it on silly shit like roots and paste. Granted, you probably will too. But that’s not the point.

Here is what I propose: We’ll continue as normal, so that she does not suspect a thing. Once the money has been transferred to the account over here, I shall send you 50% of it, and that stupid cock smoker can go die in a gutter somewhere.
What do you think? Either way, you win, as I have sent you the money for your legal fees.

I expect a reply today.

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Have you figured it out yet? You might have, since you’re not replying. Though I must say I’m impressed a stupid shit-head like you, could possibly work something like that out. In case it’s escaped your notice, I’ve known all along that you’re just a retarded butt-fucking scammer. And an incredibly stupid one at that.

How’s it feel to be out witted so completely, shit for brains? You actually believed that I battled a chimp? You actually took those pictures seriously? What are you, fucking mentally handicapped? That was a rhetorical question, you vaginal discharge. Hey, here’s a thought: Why don’t you go suck on some donkey dick, get butt-fucked by an ebola monkey, and then we can call you fingercuffs. Or, to use your tribal name, Baba Fucktard fingercuffs shit for brains.

Go visit this site www.ebolamonkeyman.com to see all you stupid 419 scammers get laughed at. That’s right, the world is laughing at you, you dumb fuck. You seriously are a fucking moron.

C’mon, reply and make my day. Oh and FYI, no one gives a rat’s ass if you find it hard to get work, so don’t try and use that as an excuse. Just go kill yourself, and make the world a better place by having one less dumb fuck polluting it. May you get eaten by lions or whatever the fuck kills you dumbasses. That’s what you fuckers commonly get offed by, right?

Laughing at you,

Buht Fokker (not my real name, in case you can’t work that out)

P.S. Go get AIDS. And cancer. In whichever order you like.

I have received the western union money transfer details from lunchbox. However I have NOT received the photo I requested from you.

I want a photo of either you, or someone you know holding the sign “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.”
I CAN NOT SEND THE MONEY WITHOUT THIS. It is a requirement we have here.

I have some good news, though. If you are incapable of doing this, you may instead have a sign that has my name on it. I managed to argue with my partner, Ain Nusbustar, and he agreed to this.

To summarize:
A photo of someone you know, holding a sign with my name on it.

OR

A photo of someone you know, holding a sign saying “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.”
I HAVE THE MONEY, AND I AM READY TO SEND IT. However, you must send me this photo first. Why do you refuse? My balls are rippling with rage.

Sincerely,

It’s nice to know that you are at least reliable. I swear to Xenu, that Goodness is starting to piss me off. All I ask is for her to send a photo with someone holding a sign that has my name, or a sign that has the sentence “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.”
That is all I need. Can you believe that dumb ho? Please tell her that as soon as she sends it, I shall send the money through western union. This is quite a switch, isn’t it? Before, you were the pesky nimrod, who seemed about as smart as a bag of rocks. Rocks from Canada. Sorry, had to be said.

Anyway, I know that you will convince her. After all, you’ve been quite mean to me in the past. I gotta say, you have balls. I like balls.

So, remember, tell Miss Goodness to send what I asked for!

Eternally,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Still no picture, I see. Just to show you how serious I am, I have attached a picture of myself with the money I am going to send to your lawyer.

Do you see? I am fully prepared to help you, but you refuse to give me what I want. What’s wrong with you? I swear, I’m about ready to bust a cap in your bony starving ass.

Stop messing around.

Maybe I didn’t make myself clear when I put in all caps what I want from you. I didn’t want you to send me the same three silly pictures as before. I don’t know how to make this any easier for you to understand.

I want A PICTURE OF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, HOLDING A SIGN WHICH SAYS “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.”

If you send me those same pictures a third time, I’m gonna have to choke a bitch.

Please note that my partner wants to see this to prove to him you are a good Christian woman. If you do this, lunchbox will get his money (which he’ll no doubt waste on more roots and paste. Seriously, have you seen how large that guy is?).
REMEMBER: A picture of you or a friend holding a sign that says: I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.

You’re so close to getting what you deserve! Don’t fail me now. I want to swoop in and rescue you from that shit-covered latrine of a country. I hope you will send the picture swiftly.

Gawd Dayumn,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

I have not received the picture I requested, yet. Please do hurry, as I want to pay lunchbox as soon as I can. Just think: This time next week, you’ll be here in the U.S sipping pina coladas, and filling your stomach with something other than roots and paste!
Black people get treated very fairly here in the U.S. If anyone should mention the name “Rodney King,” just ignore them, as they’re talking about fiction.

I urge you to send the picture of you or a friend holding a sign saying “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.” Remember- You or someone you know, holding a sign that says that sentence.

Can you do this? I will be sending lunchbox (Ben Omega) the money as soon as you do. Help me help you.
I pray for your safety. I know how dangerous it must be, what with all the lions and ebola monkeys running around the streets.

Sexily,

It seems that you are not at all serious about doing business with me. I had hoped we could resolve this matter in a quick and efficient manner, but you seem intent on breaking my balls.

I have the money with me, all I need is the picture of you or someone you know holding a sign saying “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE.”
This is how we do business in my country.

Why will you not do this? Do you not want to be rescued from your monkey-ridden country?
I repeat: I have the money with me; all I need is that photo. It’s a very simple matter. I assume people get taught to write in Africa, surely? You are making my balls quake in fury.

I have attached a picture that shows you how I feel. It’s like I am so close to getting what I need, but then I get cock blocked, by your inefficient ass. Or something to that effect.

Please email me back, as I fear for your life. I will email lunchbox, and tell him the deal is off, unless I hear from you.

One pissed off,

I have the money with me, and I am ready to send it. My partner finally agreed to release it, but on two conditions. The first was that I could have the money, but not actually send it until I got the picture I asked for. The second condition was that he could get to bone my girlfriend.

You see how dedicated I am? I let another man blast her in the ass for the sake of helping Goodness. Don’t let the tear in my girlfriend’s anal cavity be in vain. When I told her about why I wanted to her to do it, she immediately said, “hell yeah, honey, if it means we can save her, I’ll take a shot in the ass!” What she didn’t know was that my partner, a Mr. Ain Nusbustar, enjoys using his fist, as well. Think about that.

Please try and convince her to send the required picture. I have emailed her about it already, but I’m sure you can use your..well I was about to masculine presence, but shit, I’ve seen your photo, that ain’t happening any time soon. Ok, just do whatever you can.

Sincerely,

Bught Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Thank you for answering my questions. It’s good to know you have an ounce of professionalism in your body. Even if the rest is roots, and paste.

I will prepare the funds as swiftly as possible, and make sure I get to Western Union money transfer by today.
There is a problem, though. I have not heard from Miss Goodness for a few days, and I fear for her life. I think some monkeys with ebola might have molested her, and carved up her corpse. Please get her to email me, as I do not like being ignored. If she is not willing to comply, then we may have to end our business together. This is not something I want, but she is leaving me with no choice.

I’m sure you can convince her to reply. Just offer her starving ass some roots and paste. She’s a god damn refugee or whatever, she’ll take what she can get.

Once again, I thank you for your co-operation. But you’re not cool enough to be called Awesome-o yet. I’m sorry, but you’ll really have to impress me, homie.

Peace out,

The following questions have still not been answered by you:

1. What do you think of my girlfriend? Would you like to become friends with her?

2. What do you think of me coming to Senegal to pick you up? And what about me sending in Mr. Rambeau?

Look, Goodness, you’re breakin’ my balls gal, you’re breakin’ my balls! If you’re not convinced about Mr. Rambeau being able to pull this off on his own, I’ll send my elder brother along, too. This guy is one tough bastard. His name is Heican Yahumpmi. He didn’t like the family name, so he changed it. He’s so badass, this one time, he deflected a barrage of machine gun fire with his scrotum. I’ve attached a picture of him. He looks a lot like me, doesn’t he? Oh and his eye looks funny, because of an accident he once had, whilst in a threesome. He, and Mr. Rambeau, were boning some ho, and just as Mr. Rambeau was giving her a “pearl necklace,” his “shot” went wide, and hit my bro in his eye.
Anyway, I expect you to reply swiftly, or I will reconsider my offer of help. REMEMBER: REPLY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO CHANGE MY MIND.

Wearily,

It’s so good to hear from you at last! I thought savage ebola monkeys had sodomised you, then carved up your disease-ridden corpse, and fed it to antelopes! Thank the good Lord you are alive and well. It’s times like this that I just want to get down on my knees in front of Jesus and feel his salvation all over my face! Mmm!

I will send the required information to lunchbox as soon as I’ve finished this email to you. Be thankful- you’ll be out of that shit pit of a country before you can say, “rape my eye-socket, and make me squirt cum out my nose!” Yup, rapid is the name of the game.

I have one small request for you. I know that you are a God-loving person, and I admire that about you. However, my partner, who is assisting me with the issue of money (I’m currently paying off large gambling debts, so I need help) wants to be assured of your good Christian nature. I know it’s a pain, but could you send a picture of yourself, or if not you, someone who can help you, holding a sign that says, “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” If you do this, my partner will be very happy to allow the money to reach you.

So, to summarize: I need you, or someone from the camp to hold up a sign that says “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” Please do this, as it will assure him of your good nature. It’s a rule we have here.
I know that you will do this, as you are a good woman. And supple, too, I’ll bet.

Expectantly,

As promised, here are the details you requested:

Full name: Buht Fokker

Address: 550 E. Iliff Ave.
Denver, CO 80210

If there is anything else you require, please contact me straight away. I am eager to conclude this business, and I’m sure you are too. Unfortunately I am unable to send the money straight away, as I need something from Miss Goodness, which I have emailed her about. It is a simple matter for her to take care of, so DON’T WORRY. I know how pissy you can get, and get your robes in a bunch.

I remain,