Nobody likes a guy that brags too much. Even less so on the internet because nobody believes you, and people get extremely RAGE’D when anyone has something they can brag about because everyone on the internet is a jealous douche bag.

So…how do you go about bragging on the internet with out pissing everyone off and still patting yourself on the back? The old secret bragging topics of course. Secret bragging topics are nothing more than some random story that slips in what you want to brag about. Let’s suppose you have $1000 in your wallet. Do you just start a topic and say…”Hey dudes…I have $1000 plus I just bought a Slingbox“? Of course not. People will just get pissed off.

How do you go about bragging about your $1000 and your Slingbox then? Easy…start a topic like “What’s Do You Have in Your Wallet?” There is nothing more important than letting people include themselves in your bragging. People don’t give a flying fuck what you have, or what you did on the internet, or in real life in most cases. You could argue that women are more susceptible to wanting to hear themselves talk than men, but I am not going to say that ;). So now that you have an inclusive topic that let’s others talk their own accomplishments up…you list all your random credit cards, pictures, the 3 year old condom, and slip in the $1000 cash. Then just say…”yeah I got a slingbox today too…Yay! Me! You crack on yourself with the 3 year old condom gag, but it makes you actually having $1000 more believable.

Pro Tip: Nobody gives a shit about what you have to say on the internet, or in real life. IF you want something from them, just let them talk about themselves.

Now…most of us think anyone who has to find a mate on the internet is a complete loser. People lie about who they are, and they come to find out it is some freak that was pretending to be 12 when he is 40, the guy gives you a pic of Ponch from ChiPs:

and you end up seeing this guy show up for the date instead:

Of course to actually meet someone from the internet is pretty desperate anyways…You have to be one lonely mofo to take the chance that the psycho you are going to meet isn’t really a psycho, a pedophile, or a transvestite.

Before you start picking out your baby crib bedding…They can go through any compatibility test they want, but the results still end up just the same as the do for anyone else…

The Parody Motivator Generator has been around for quite a while now, and has given us many, many lulz. I have seen some real classics over the last year, but still find this one so funny.

This isn’t uncommon for the tools that try to look hot for lol Myspace. One of the most hilarious things aobut Myspace is that people trying to look hot, or cool have very similar trends. This is what people call the Myspace Face.

for girls: pouty eyes with a smirk or pursed lips. The shoulder comes up and attaches to the chin. fingers in the west side sign optional, but are common. Many other common hand gestures appear as well such as the peace sign, or even some made up gang sign the person has no clue as to what it means.

for guys: shirts up showing off their abs, while making some macho head nod, face looking cool and unassuming. Funny enough I recently saw some dudes skateboarding and every time the one dude came up by the street he pulled up his shirt and did this exact pose. As was required I yelled obseneties out the window at this douche in the process breaking my You from AP Royal Oak watch trying to throw garbage at him.

Here is an example of a Myspace face:

Damn baby, you are so fine, or not.

MOAR MUDKIPS!!1!!1!!!1SHIFT+1!!!

Yup…the stats have spoken. Your favorite word on my blog is Mudkips. What exactly is the fascination? My post about Mudkips the other day has brought a hell of a lot of lurkers over here. Fess up. You thought it was a pr0n term didn’t you? Please share your morbid fetishes about the almighty Mudkips. I need to know why you love them so.

YTMND Up Yo’ ASS:

MUDKIPS ARE SOOOO RARE

So I Herd U Liek Mudkips

User comment gives historic screen shot of Mudkipz history:

Mudkipz Story

Mudkips Ascii

Mudkips videos (lol @ the Mudkips Song video):

Doesn’t matter where I go online I see people talking about Apple like they invented everything from computers to mp3 players. Not only did they invent it all, but they are better than everything else. Crazy posters saying that you don’t even need spy software with a Mac computer because they are so advanced. Newsflash…No one wastes their time making viruses for Macs because hardly anyone has one. Doesn’t mean that these computers are more secure by any stretch of the imagination.

Then you get into the iPod vs. Zune people. I have an iPod and while it is functioning and works OK, I couldn’t ever say it is in the same league as the Zune. If it wasn’t for the piecemeal sales of all the iPod accessories I would have switched to something else long ago. They don’t even give you a wall power adapter with the thing. $400 and no power source other than having to plug it in to your computer? It may cost you $400 to get an iPod or whatever it costs now, but it will probably cost you another $400 just to get it to play in your car, and to get a speaker system to play it with out using headphones, or your computer. Those headphones you could get out of a Cracker Jack box too.

Bah at Apple.