Most people just go on message boards to brag about smoking weed, or getting wasted. Of course getting blown out is awesome and all, if you are into that sort of thing *whistles*, but I find that peopel get really bad advice about drugs online. Many of the people asking about them are wondering what the effects are for drug. So…what kind of advice do they get?

“You are a loser. Kill yourself.”

is probably the most common answer.

This is when the debate begins about whether marijuana should be legal. People that have actually smoked weed before accurately describe the effects, and subsequently provide a bunch of articles about why it isn’t that bad. THEN people that have never touched anything more potent than pimple cream start to tell you just how bad for you it really is. They are like an after school special gone wrong. They tend to spout the same stuff you would hear in the cult classic Reefer Madness as their knowledge of using the drug.

The Legalize Weed Debate can be summed up in a few very short words:

People on the internet are idiots.

Let’s look at some of the reasons to Legalize It from some articles around the net from potheads…

Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Weed

LOL @ #8 on that list:

“A regulated, legal market in marijuana would reduce marijuana sales and use among teenagers, as well as reduce their exposure to other drugs in the illegal market.”

Worst reason ever.

Nevermind about examples. All i found were morons that made top 10 lists only to get themselves searched better in Google. Most of them were poorly put together.

Top reasons people SAY Weed SHOULD be legal:

1. It is no more dangerous than alcohol, which is legal.

2. Taxing it would be good for the economy.

3. It would reduce overcrowding in prisons, and crime overall.

and just like everyone else? I will not even provide detailed information sas to why any of that may, or may not be true.

Top reasons people SAY weed SHOULDN’T be legal (on the internet):

1. You are a loser. Kill yourself. Only losers do drugs. Drugs are bad, mmmmk?

2. People would all be lazy and get really fat. “Eddie, did you look for a job today?”

(sorry can’t find that commercial to post…lol)

3. I learned it by watching you, OK? I learned it by watching you!

With the presidential race heating up for the stretch run, banners are popping up everywhere to make fun of, or support, both John McCain and Barack Obama. As they fly around the world in their private jet charters saying ridiculous things about what they plan to do (McCain trying to say crap like all our problems are psychological) the interwebs produces amazing photoshop skills and gives you the best banners to post on message boards.

Why 8? Because 8 is a random number and 5, or 10 is sheepish.

8. McCain for the tech illiterate.

Yes…McCain can’t use a computer. This should come as no surprise.

7. Barack Obama Birth Certificate

According to conservatives Obama is probably a terrorist.

6. Send Barack Your Baby

This is actually a website for this purpose if you click the link above. Very odd…hmmmmm

5. Obama President of Awesome

Apparently he is an action hero.

4. McCain is Old

So old that…

3. NOPE We Can’t!

This one is a parody of this poster:

and changed to this for McCain’s slogan:

2. Do it Yourself!

Solutions for America’s Future

1. Who is this fucking candidate?

They swear so this all must be true.

Nobody likes a guy that brags too much. Even less so on the internet because nobody believes you, and people get extremely RAGE’D when anyone has something they can brag about because everyone on the internet is a jealous douche bag.

So…how do you go about bragging on the internet with out pissing everyone off and still patting yourself on the back? The old secret bragging topics of course. Secret bragging topics are nothing more than some random story that slips in what you want to brag about. Let’s suppose you have $1000 in your wallet. Do you just start a topic and say…”Hey dudes…I have $1000 plus I just bought a Slingbox“? Of course not. People will just get pissed off.

How do you go about bragging about your $1000 and your Slingbox then? Easy…start a topic like “What’s Do You Have in Your Wallet?” There is nothing more important than letting people include themselves in your bragging. People don’t give a flying fuck what you have, or what you did on the internet, or in real life in most cases. You could argue that women are more susceptible to wanting to hear themselves talk than men, but I am not going to say that ;). So now that you have an inclusive topic that let’s others talk their own accomplishments up…you list all your random credit cards, pictures, the 3 year old condom, and slip in the $1000 cash. Then just say…”yeah I got a slingbox today too…Yay! Me! You crack on yourself with the 3 year old condom gag, but it makes you actually having $1000 more believable.

Pro Tip: Nobody gives a shit about what you have to say on the internet, or in real life. IF you want something from them, just let them talk about themselves.

Here’s a song that someone needs to put into .mp3 format so you can put it onto your ipods.

My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my ding-a-ling

Now this here song it ain’t so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling
——————————————
On second thought…this is pretty stupid.

Just thought that you all would like to know that. I am a disgruntled worker and am willing to answer any questions about conspiracies that you will want to know.

Here is a picture that I just got some custom picture framing done to for real proof:

As you can see, this is a dead alien. Unless I worked at Area 51 I would not have access to anything of this sort.

Many other things happen at Area 51 other than the “Aliens” stuff.

We are a hotbed of misinformation. Every conspiracy you have ever heard of was created in our think tanks. The Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, even the Lincoln Assassination theories were all created and spread by us. Yes, Area 51 has been around for hundreds of years. We were here before America was even formed.

Everything that happens in the world is controlled by us. We are every secret society you have ever heard of. All those societies are just made up so that it will take focus away from Area 51.

Even though nobody will believe that I work there, it matters not. This is the reason why they will do nothing to me. Nobody will believe it anyways.

Questions will be answered if they are asked. You can’t even imagine the scope of our power.