Internet. Serious Business.

Here’s a song that someone needs to put into .mp3 format so you can put it onto your ipods.

My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my ding-a-ling

Now this here song it ain’t so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling
——————————————
On second thought…this is pretty stupid.

Just thought that you all would like to know that. I am a disgruntled worker and am willing to answer any questions about conspiracies that you will want to know.

Here is a picture that I just got some custom picture framing done to for real proof:

As you can see, this is a dead alien. Unless I worked at Area 51 I would not have access to anything of this sort.

Many other things happen at Area 51 other than the “Aliens” stuff.

We are a hotbed of misinformation. Every conspiracy you have ever heard of was created in our think tanks. The Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, even the Lincoln Assassination theories were all created and spread by us. Yes, Area 51 has been around for hundreds of years. We were here before America was even formed.

Everything that happens in the world is controlled by us. We are every secret society you have ever heard of. All those societies are just made up so that it will take focus away from Area 51.

Even though nobody will believe that I work there, it matters not. This is the reason why they will do nothing to me. Nobody will believe it anyways.

Questions will be answered if they are asked. You can’t even imagine the scope of our power.

So…some teenage kid is so smart that he graduates not just college, but completes MEDICAL SCHOOL before an average person would even graduate high school. Surely this is based on a true story. Starring Neil Patrick Harris as a brilliant teenage doctor who was also faced with the problems of being a normal teenager. Well…most things. He isn’t trying to figure out what kind of personalized baby clothes he needs for a bun in the oven with his girlfriend Wanda Plenn or anything. He’s just a big dork that works at a hospital as a doctor. Wanda of course is hooking up with him because the dude is rich.

HEre is an interesting, and very stupid fact: Steven Bochco, the show’s creator, revealed that the show’s cancellation came abruptly at the hands of ABC executives–before he and the show’s staff had a chance to complete the story line. Bochco believed Doogie would have left the pressures of medicine to become a writer. Now that is some lame ass writing there. I think the TV execs probably made the right call by canceling this show before Bochco could completely destroy it.

Doogie Howser, M.D. Intro/Theme:

Oye

Growing up, one of the greatest books out there were the “Choose Your OWn Adventure” sort. After each page you read, the book gives you 2-5 options as to where you want the story to go next. With these options, one book becomes like 5. You can play the story out in several different ways and end up with completely different adventures.

MAny times you will see these pop up on message boards. Of course these topics are much better than any of these books ever were. Simply because these threads are not made for children and you can see tons of crazy ideas that make a hysterical story.

Although people tend to spend way too much tim bringing zombies, and Armageddon, every once in a while there is one worth reading. Things that will follow the adventures of Chris Hansen of “to Catch a Predator”, or one I saw recently called: “You are a Fat Man CYOA” following a man and his plus size clothing around.

If you have very little imagination, DO NOT make these topics. Only pick the options to lead the story. Nobody wants to read about your trip to band camp if all you do is tell ghost stories around the fire. Of course if you put a flute in your…*cough*…you know…well that may make for an interesting tale.

Hmmm…let me think. Here are some topics I would like to see:

You are Obama as a Pimp
You are Ronald McDonald, Super Hero
You are George Carlin, In Hell
You are Rick Astley
You are Captain Obvious
You are Donald Trump, Best Man at Rosie O’Donnel’s Wedding

If you have ever been to a Showbiz Pizza, or a Chuck-E-Cheese’s you probably remember the band the band of animals playing instruments up on stage while you ate. Well…someone went out and bought a set of them, but instead of the Brithday song they all used to sing they make the play more popular pop music. You knwo the kind you play when you are hooking up with a Slump Buster at cheap hotels because they are fans of N-Sync and other crap bands. There are a few of them out there now so I’ll put them in for you.