Internet. Serious Business.

Ok…people may have actually liked this show. I know I had some He Man action figures (ie. dolls for boys) when I was a little runt, but try to watch this crap now. It is terrible. BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! I HAVE THE POWER! HE MAN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!

Another “super hero” who looks almost exactly the same when not wearing tight underwear to mask his true identity. HE lives in Castle Grayskull, but Skeletor is his enemy…contradiction much? He gets ultra powerful because of a sword. HE even forgoes the need for a tanning bed when he become He Man. HE looks like he is pretty damn strong before he is He Man too which makes you wonder why he even needs the sword. At least make him look like he was downing Fenphedra pills before his transformation M I RITE?

He Man and the Masters of the Universe Intro

Nobody likes a guy that brags too much. Even less so on the internet because nobody believes you, and people get extremely RAGE’D when anyone has something they can brag about because everyone on the internet is a jealous douche bag.

So…how do you go about bragging on the internet with out pissing everyone off and still patting yourself on the back? The old secret bragging topics of course. Secret bragging topics are nothing more than some random story that slips in what you want to brag about. Let’s suppose you have $1000 in your wallet. Do you just start a topic and say…”Hey dudes…I have $1000 plus I just bought a Slingbox“? Of course not. People will just get pissed off.

How do you go about bragging about your $1000 and your Slingbox then? Easy…start a topic like “What’s Do You Have in Your Wallet?” There is nothing more important than letting people include themselves in your bragging. People don’t give a flying fuck what you have, or what you did on the internet, or in real life in most cases. You could argue that women are more susceptible to wanting to hear themselves talk than men, but I am not going to say that ;). So now that you have an inclusive topic that let’s others talk their own accomplishments up…you list all your random credit cards, pictures, the 3 year old condom, and slip in the $1000 cash. Then just say…”yeah I got a slingbox today too…Yay! Me! You crack on yourself with the 3 year old condom gag, but it makes you actually having $1000 more believable.

Pro Tip: Nobody gives a shit about what you have to say on the internet, or in real life. IF you want something from them, just let them talk about themselves.

Here’s a song that someone needs to put into .mp3 format so you can put it onto your ipods.

My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my ding-a-ling

Now this here song it ain’t so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling
——————————————
On second thought…this is pretty stupid.

Just thought that you all would like to know that. I am a disgruntled worker and am willing to answer any questions about conspiracies that you will want to know.

Here is a picture that I just got some custom picture framing done to for real proof:

As you can see, this is a dead alien. Unless I worked at Area 51 I would not have access to anything of this sort.

Many other things happen at Area 51 other than the “Aliens” stuff.

We are a hotbed of misinformation. Every conspiracy you have ever heard of was created in our think tanks. The Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, even the Lincoln Assassination theories were all created and spread by us. Yes, Area 51 has been around for hundreds of years. We were here before America was even formed.

Everything that happens in the world is controlled by us. We are every secret society you have ever heard of. All those societies are just made up so that it will take focus away from Area 51.

Even though nobody will believe that I work there, it matters not. This is the reason why they will do nothing to me. Nobody will believe it anyways.

Questions will be answered if they are asked. You can’t even imagine the scope of our power.

So…some teenage kid is so smart that he graduates not just college, but completes MEDICAL SCHOOL before an average person would even graduate high school. Surely this is based on a true story. Starring Neil Patrick Harris as a brilliant teenage doctor who was also faced with the problems of being a normal teenager. Well…most things. He isn’t trying to figure out what kind of personalized baby clothes he needs for a bun in the oven with his girlfriend Wanda Plenn or anything. He’s just a big dork that works at a hospital as a doctor. Wanda of course is hooking up with him because the dude is rich.

HEre is an interesting, and very stupid fact: Steven Bochco, the show’s creator, revealed that the show’s cancellation came abruptly at the hands of ABC executives–before he and the show’s staff had a chance to complete the story line. Bochco believed Doogie would have left the pressures of medicine to become a writer. Now that is some lame ass writing there. I think the TV execs probably made the right call by canceling this show before Bochco could completely destroy it.

Doogie Howser, M.D. Intro/Theme:

Oye